trust it

My first order of business is to report one new acquaintance for this week. I met the world traveler at Church because he is visiting my Church wing-man. He has had a very interesting life as an MK, and, as my name for him implies, world travel. I have always said that I want to date/marry someone with a serious career, but good life experience is important as well. You can't get kicked out of a country or taste other cultures from inside a cubicle. An adventuresome spirit is a very attractive quality.

Since last Thursday I have been discussing the geologist with friends and giving the date thought; partially to pass on the funny story, and partially to explore my feelings so I don't end up with PTSD. It takes me time to sort out my feelings- I know this about myself. I've called my parents in tears five years after something happened that bothered me. Sometimes it takes me time to realise how I really feel or what I really think.

And the longer I think about last week's date, the worse it gets. It's true that it is still really funny. I wish you could have seen me trying to keep a straight face as the geologist told me all about how he got sucked into a Nigerian internet dating scam. He wouldn't tell me how much money he wired to the supposed damsel in distress, but he did tell me it was three figures. It was not easy to keep calm when he asked me if I'd read something about The Lord of the Rings on theonering.net (whatever that is). And what do you say to someone who says that the rose petal you prodded him into EATING tastes like kale? It was just so tragic.

It is also somewhat offensive. Does Dmitri at It's Just Lunch really think that I deserved that guy? Or that he is what I am looking for? Why am I paying him to torture me? I am quite capable of getting bad dates on my own.

This could be a stumbling stone in meet more men in 2010. I mean, do I really want to meet more men if they are going to be weak fools? Is this going to be worth it? How many more bad dates do I have to endure? Am I going to end up at Shepherd-Pratt from too many dates gone wrong?

Fortunately, I am a tenacious woman.

The Baltimore slogan "Believe" comes to mind. It's on every trash can and public building in the area. I also hear "believe" a lot at work. But the truth is that nebulous belief doesn't mend broken homes, decrease crime, or cure cancer. Blindly believing that the human spirit will surmount any obstacle is ridiculous.

Even so, I am hopeful. I don't have nebulous belief. I know it is time for me to choose to trust that my future is, and will continue to grow brighter. And it's time for me to dump the dating service.