Keep your eye on the prize

Well, friends, I did not make it to five men last week. There has been a stall in meet more men in 2010; the end of last week was completely fruitless. I was hoping that there would be someone I could chat up at the testing center where I took my GRE, but there wasn't a man to be found. Just me and my computer.

No matter. Moving into this week, I tried once again to meet Mr. Argyle at Church, but this week there was a girl next to him, who, sources confirmed is his girlfriend. She had been traveling, which is why I was confused about his relationship status. So much for that idea. At lunch after Church, I met a man who seemed very nice and interesting, but later found out that he doesn't date women. So much for that idea. I met a second man at lunch on Sunday, but he was much older and from the hood. Definitely not my type.

Since Sunday, I wasn't able to add any numbers to this week until today. I joined a dating service called "it's just lunch" (you may have seen their adverts around) whereby you are set up on blind dates. Tonight was my fourth date with this service and thus far I have had a 25% success rate (where success = I enjoyed myself).

I showed up at the restaurant tonight not knowing what to expect from the geologist (don't worry, I haven't broken my engineer pattern; he works for an environmental engineering company). Let's just say that my first impression was not good. He hadn't changed from work and was wearing a polo shirt and khakis. Not a cool, 97% cotton 3% spandex fitted polo: a dumpy baggy polo with his work logo embroidered on it. Really? Despite my first impressions, I steeled my nerves and boldly headed into the restaurant.

When we sat down at the table, there was a glass receptacle with water in it that immediately caught my attention. I couldn't figure it out: were we supposed to use it to pour our water? Was it to chill white wine? It continued to baffle me until our waitress walked over to our table with a bouquet of roses. I didn't know what to say. It was a nice thought; the average girl would probably appreciate flowers on a first date. However, I hate things that draw attention to me and sitting in a restaurant with a big bouquet of roses with a first date is a little awkward. I thanked him, but wished I could fade into the wallpaper. Once again, I steadied myself and forged ahead.

I am struggling to come up with the words to describe the rest of the date. A few highlights were: when he decided to eat a rose petal to prove his spontaneity, our lengthy discussion about Lord of the Rings, his revealing that he used to have Aspergers syndrome, discovering that he is an aspiring actor...I could go on. Let's just say it was a strange evening.

Even so, he turned out to be a genuinely nice person. I am really proud of myself because even though it was weird and strange and he was not exactly normal, I feel like I was able to see him for who he is- a nice guy with issues. One of the goals of this project is to learn to see people for who they are. I don't know who I will marry and I might be really surprised by who he turns out to be. A big part of the process of finding a life partner is knowing what you want and knowing when you see it. And I did not see it tonight.

My roommate's fiance, after hearing that my date ate a rose petal, told me to keep my eye on the prize.

He's right. Upward and onward. Away we go.

They can run...but they can't hide

I knew riding the shuttle would pay off in this dating scheme.

Today on the way home, a guy sat next to me and pulled out The Economist. As a subscriber of The Economist, I immediately knew I had encountered my fourth man of the week. It was easy to start a conversation (yes, I started it), and before long I had learned that he came to Bmore to get a MPH and is now in the process of applying to dental school.

I think we might make it to five this week.

You Never Know

Well, friends, another week in meet more men in 2010 has begun.

Yesterday, I met a new man at Church; I love it when I meet men at Church because it gets the weekly count off to a good start. Also, I always think of Church as the most likely place for me to meet someone that I might actually date. There is a man at Church who has caught my eye a couple of times, but I haven't been able to contrive a way to meet him. I'm going to try sitting in a different pew next week.

Sunday evening I met a high school friend of my stellar roommate, who set up a dinner with herself, her fiance, the friend and I. The friend had no idea that the dinner was in large part to add a man to my weekly tally, but I think he enjoyed catching up with an old high school band buddy and I was glad to be up to two men on Sunday alone.

Last week one of the bonds on my retainer that is glued to the back of my bottom teeth popped off. You are probably thinking, "what does that have to do with Katie's dating blog?" Well, I immediately rang my dentist's office and got an appointment for this morning. I assumed that I would see my regular dentist, who incidentally is a woman. However, when I showed up this morning, I was scheduled to see the the only available dentist, who is a single man my age. So there you have man number three for this week: dentist visit turned dating venture.

I wonder what is next...

Week 2

This week has been a slow week on the dating front. I've done my part; I went to Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, chatted men up on the elevator, went for a run, but to no avail thus far.

Last night brought me to the local video rental store-a favourite of mine since I moved to this neighbourhood because of it's selection of classic and foreign films. I ended up with two foreign films: Tulpan from Kazakhstan and Departures from Japan. Ready to experience other worlds, I headed home.

Tulpan was set in the Kazakhstan steppe and featured the Kazakh desert, sheep, camels, and the day-to-day existence of the nomadic people who live there. Asa, the main character, is a young man living with his sister, brother-in-law, and their three children in a tiny yurt. He dreams of having his own yurt, sheep, land and family, but the boss will not give him his own herd until he is married. The only young woman on the steppe lives a day's drive away, and rejects Asa's offer of marriage immediately to pursue her dream of going to college. Asa becomes despondent, but ultimately continues to follow his dreams on the sandy plains of the steppe.

Their existence is entirely different than our own, but when you strip away houses, education and technology, it exposes basic human experiences. To dream. To fear. To hope. To desire.

The other film, Departures was about a man who thought he knew what he wanted: to play the cello. But when life did not turn out the way that he hoped, he found unexpected meaning in a career preparing bodies for funerals, and was able to deal with pain from his past. He had to experience dying to appreciate living.

I can appreciate this paradox- working among the mortally ill changes me. Life is for living. We only have one chance.

Ultimately, that is what this challenge is about...living my life to its absolute fullest. Realising that life will never be complete on earth. Looking to heaven.

At least It's Good for a Laugh

Last night I went on date #2 with coffee man. I have been on a million first dates and I'm very used to the job interview/awkward conversation/apathy that can be the first date. You don't have to risk much to go on a first date.

The second date is a different animal all together. Obviously, still a far cry from any kind of meaningful relationship, it does bring with it a whole new set of emotions. What if I'm boring? What if I actually start to like him? What if he finds out I have a collection of Redbox DVDs that never made it back to the Redbox?

I would consider myself to be an open and engaging person in general. My job certainly requires emotional connectivity. However, if instead of a bald child I am faced with a grown man it's not quite so simple to be real.

Tonight I had dinner with friends and I was telling them about my resolution to meet more men. The list of places they came up with to meet men included:

1) Volunteering at a local rehab center for men dealing with addiction

2) Doing a shift as a public health nurse at the STD clinic

3) Joining a local continuing education group for seniors

Obviously my friends were thinking of the most ridiculous things possible and we all had a good laugh, and it felt good to laugh about it.

And I want to keep laughing as I learn about myself and others.

Week 1

I have always operated on the assumption that men should approach me; I should be able to stand in the corner and have droves of men coming to me. How to Get a Date Worth Keeping challenges this assumption and even encourages women to find single men, start conversations, and be more aggressive. It makes me nervous/worried/insecure to be the approacher not the approachee, but I am learning to be bold.

The first thing I did this week was go to my Church's young adult lunch that is held monthly. I met two men there that I hadn't met before getting my week off to a good start. To count toward my weekly five, a man has to be someone I haven't interacted with before, we have to converse to the point he has enough information about me to ask me out, and he has to have means to ask me out (phone number, know where to find me etc...)

Getting two new men for my tally on Sunday was a boost. It seemed as if getting five would be a snap.

Throughout the week, I tried to be more open, smile more, flirt more, talk more where ever I was. I had a conversation with a man while we were waiting for the elevator. I queried a man about his book on the shuttle. I looked men in the eye and smiled as I passed them in the hall.

Guy number 3 this week was a set up via friends that I saw in Colorado. We met at Starbucks and as we sipped our coffee, I tried to focus on having fun. And guess what? It was fun! Amazing how that works.

Guy number 4 came along at a party on Saturday night. As I was picking up a pretzel from the food table, I looked up and saw the face of the man that I stand next to at the shuttle stop at 7:20 every morning. We struck up a conversation and I know I will see him again at the shuttle stop.

So my first week turned out to be a four man week. The journey has begun.

Meet More Men in 2010

My brother has been telling me to read How to Get a Date Worth Keeping for quite some time. I finally picked it up from the bookstore thinking, "how could this book possibly bring anything new to my dating life?"

Surprisingly, it has ideas that have been revolutionary for me...

Date for fun??

Think of dating as a way to learn about yourself?

Meet 5 new single men a week?

I have always thought of dating as a necessary evil on the road to marital bliss; not as an entity unto itself. And now, I feel like I'm in a whole new world- soaring, tumbling, free-wheeling on a magic carpet ride. OK not a magic carpet ride, but definitely a philosophical shift.

Therefore, I have decided to blog about the men I meet and what I learn. My dating experiences of the past have provided amusement to many people so I decided to continue the tradition.

Here's to 2010 being a year of insight, empowerment, and personal growth...