The good, the bad, and the ugly

Well, friends, it's been another week on the cow trail here.

The beginning of the week was very slow. Nothing to report whatsoever.

However, things really picked up this weekend.

On Friday, a few residents visited the clinic to see a kid who was newly diagnosed with an eye cancer. Resident #1 was a guy that I had met briefly at a Church here in town. I struck up a conversation with him and we chatted for a little while. He half-heartedly inviting me to go bowling with his Church group that night, but I a) didn't want to accept an invitation of questionable sincerity and b) already had plans. Resident #2 was a visiting resident from England. He was a lot of fun and I enjoyed chatting with him.

Friday night I entered a whole new world. A friend of mine has a 12 year-old son who wanted to go to the movies with his friend, but didn't want his Mom sitting in the theatre with him. So my friend and I went to one movie and the kids went to a different one. As the years go by, I have gone from hanging out with all young single people, to hanging out with married people, to hanging out with married people and their kids, to now, chaperoning their children at the movie theatre. I'm telling you, it was strange. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed myself, but it was weird to be at the movie theatre in the suburbs in a sea of teeny boppers and be the old person.

On Saturday, on of my dear friends asked me if I wanted to go to a book exchanged hosted by a meet up group that she attends. It was a lot of fun; we found a part of the city that neither of us had been to before, we had good conversation with the group members, and I scored a couple of good books. There were a couple of single guys there. The hipster was wearing a fedora and was a generally conversational and interesting person. However, when he left the group, he said that he was on his way to get some piercings...not exactly my cup of tea. And what a weird way to leave a group, "see ya later, I'm off to get pierced." Totally bizarro. The second guy- the weird guy, was just that-very strange and somewhat reminiscent of the rose petal eater and we all know I don't want to repeat that fiasco.

Saturday afternoon brought a single girl crisis. I bought a couple tickets to a fashion show fundraiser and a friend and I were supposed to go together. However, she backed out at the last minute and I was left trying to find a plus one. It is the kind of situation that I absolutely dread. It wouldn't be fun to go alone, but it's also not fun to call 20 different people to see if you can talk them in to last minute Saturday night plans. Of course, most people have plans for Saturday night before Saturday at 4pm and if they don't, it is deliberate. Thankfully, my roommate saved me and came along, but it made me wish I had a permanent plus one.

The fundraiser itself was enjoyable, but it was hard to meet men. For starters, it was a fashion show, not the manliest event. The men that were there looked like they had been brought by their girlfriends. And even if there were single men there, they were impossible to distinguish from the taken men. It made me think; that would have been the perfect place for a single guy to meet women. I wonder what is the perfect place for women to meet single guys? Where do they hide?

Today, I met a new guy at Church. The grad student is from the south and seemed nice. I found a slick way to strike up a conversation and we chatted for a bit-I hope I'll see him again. Basketball yielded no knew men this week, it seems I've met the whole group.

Perhaps the most exciting thing is that between Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I met 5 men. Bust out the confetti, I finally did it! Many thanks to my friends who made it possible.

Looking forward to see what this week brings. It has been said that Spring turns a young man's fancy into thoughts of love. I'm ready for Spring, for leaves on the trees, for sun, flowers, warm weather, new possibilities.

I love you tomorrow, you're only a day away.

Next week I have a blind date and vegan happy hour planned. Stay tuned for details.

Week something

Hello Friends.

It's been a fairly productive weekend at meet more men in 2010 headquarters.

I went to a going away party for a friend, and although there were no new single men, it was a lovely time. Being with friends, feeling cared for and understood, is one of life's great pleasures.

After the going away party, a co-worker and I went to a bar to hear a fellow co-worker's band play. The bar is the quintessential place to meet singles and I gussied up to see what there was to see. The band was enjoyable and I had a good time with my co-workers, but the bar was disappointing in terms of single men. One man tried to chat me up; turns out he was visiting Baltimore from Philly (always a good thing), he was nice, and reasonably good-looking. Unfortunately, he was wearing swimming goggles (what the what? Who does that?), which led me to believe that he is ridiculous and I chose not to pursue that option. Goodbye goggle man.

At Church this morning my wing-man introduced me to a new guy. The grad student is new to town and is reasonably good looking. After a short conversation, my initial thoughts are that a) he is very conservative (can you believe it? I'm saying someone is too conservative) and b) I didn't get the idea he was interested in me. I'm not hopeful about that one.

Coaching youth basketball was once again successful. There was a new coach this week: single, in his 30s. Nice guy.

One other thing on my horizon is the Baltimore Foreign Affairs Council. For some reason, they decided to invite me to join; it's not expensive and they put on 16 lectures per year by professors, ambassadors, and the like, and each function has a reception prior to the lecture. Jackpot! Sounds like the perfect place to meet intelligent men. I'll let you know how it goes.

Out and about

Your correspondent has taken the blog out tonight. I am in a coffee shop drinking a delicious cappuccino, looking like someone who wants to be talked to, and pondering life.

My neighbourhood is full of students, and as I'm sitting here in the coffee shop, there is "student talk" all around.

"What are you going to do when you graduate?" "My professor is, like, so difficult." "I will never work in an office-I'd rather die." "If New York doesn't work out, I'll just move to Italy."

They make it sound so easy. In school, the world is full of endless possibilities; life as you want it is just around the corner. Setbacks are temporary-one bad grade, one disappointing class is but a momentary set back. After living in the "real world" for almost six years now, I think planning has become more difficult. I have to take care of myself, be responsible, save for retirement.

Part of the goal of this project is to discard inhibitions and dream without fear; go in the direction of my desires and listen to my heart. Like that stupid saying, "dance like no one is looking."

And speaking of dancing, I have been doing a belly dancing DVD with my roommate. I did not dance when I was young so it does not come naturally to me, but this DVD is a lot of fun. It is making me more confident and I'm sure my dancing skills will improve, making me even more interesting and dateable.

I'm off...good night and good luck.

Waylaid

Well, friends, meet more men in 2010 has been waylaid by the snow.

In case you have been sequestered from the news, let me say the East Coast has been bombarded with very large amounts of the fluffy white stuff that falls so delicately from the sky then wrecks havoc on unsuspecting citizens who have no clue what to do with it. It was a good week shoveling, sledding, and engaging in frivolity when I would typically be working.

And it's not like I didn't try to meet more men. When I was digging out my car, I chatted up a guy on his bike who was waiting for the light to change. My roommate and I took cookies to the neighbor who let us borrow his shovel.

However, much of the last week and a half was spent in three layers of sweaters under two blankets reading good books and drinking tea rather than prowling the streets of Baltimore for my next male acquaintance. It was delightful to have a break from my five-man-a-week quest and I realised that it takes a lot of energy. It's only February and I'm already tired.

Another aspect of this challenge is to be the best me that I can be-spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. This has been on my mind in my snow-induced reverie; what else should I be doing? I want to make sure that I am becoming the woman that I want to be: growing in beauty and in grace, taking care of my body, challenging my mind, feeding my soul. There are ways that I am trying to do this already. I read books and magazines that are intellectually stimulating, I volunteer, I cook, I read the Bible and pray, I have long talks with friends, I enjoy the pleasures of nature, I play the piano, I journal. Of course, there is always room for improvement. So towards that end, I went to the YMCA today to inquire about joining. It might kill two birds with one stone: take care of my body and there are bound to be men there.

Before I sign off for the night I have three new men to report from this weekend.

1. The Uncle. He is the uncle of a friend of mine. Too old and not my type, but a nice person.

2. The friend of the uncle. Also not my type. Seems like he is still trying to figure himself out.

3. The coach. I started volunteering as a basketball coach for a youth program today. I don't play basketball, but I guess they don't care so I decided I would go and encourage the kids. One of the other coaches a) actually plays basketball and b) seems to be a nice guy. He is quite a bit younger than me, but I'm just trying to meet people so there you have it.

trust it

My first order of business is to report one new acquaintance for this week. I met the world traveler at Church because he is visiting my Church wing-man. He has had a very interesting life as an MK, and, as my name for him implies, world travel. I have always said that I want to date/marry someone with a serious career, but good life experience is important as well. You can't get kicked out of a country or taste other cultures from inside a cubicle. An adventuresome spirit is a very attractive quality.

Since last Thursday I have been discussing the geologist with friends and giving the date thought; partially to pass on the funny story, and partially to explore my feelings so I don't end up with PTSD. It takes me time to sort out my feelings- I know this about myself. I've called my parents in tears five years after something happened that bothered me. Sometimes it takes me time to realise how I really feel or what I really think.

And the longer I think about last week's date, the worse it gets. It's true that it is still really funny. I wish you could have seen me trying to keep a straight face as the geologist told me all about how he got sucked into a Nigerian internet dating scam. He wouldn't tell me how much money he wired to the supposed damsel in distress, but he did tell me it was three figures. It was not easy to keep calm when he asked me if I'd read something about The Lord of the Rings on theonering.net (whatever that is). And what do you say to someone who says that the rose petal you prodded him into EATING tastes like kale? It was just so tragic.

It is also somewhat offensive. Does Dmitri at It's Just Lunch really think that I deserved that guy? Or that he is what I am looking for? Why am I paying him to torture me? I am quite capable of getting bad dates on my own.

This could be a stumbling stone in meet more men in 2010. I mean, do I really want to meet more men if they are going to be weak fools? Is this going to be worth it? How many more bad dates do I have to endure? Am I going to end up at Shepherd-Pratt from too many dates gone wrong?

Fortunately, I am a tenacious woman.

The Baltimore slogan "Believe" comes to mind. It's on every trash can and public building in the area. I also hear "believe" a lot at work. But the truth is that nebulous belief doesn't mend broken homes, decrease crime, or cure cancer. Blindly believing that the human spirit will surmount any obstacle is ridiculous.

Even so, I am hopeful. I don't have nebulous belief. I know it is time for me to choose to trust that my future is, and will continue to grow brighter. And it's time for me to dump the dating service.